You Know What’s Been Missing From Your Wardrobe. Yeah, It’s a Breakfast Scarf.



So I really like food. Only my closest friends know that about me. Everyone else is like:

“That girl really needs to eat a sandwich.”

And I’m just like whoa guys, I eat like 10 sandwiches a day, with extra bacon and cinnamon sugar because I am that awesome.

Anyways, I really think I’m missing this breakfast scarf in my life.

il_340x270-510602010_dokwHere’s all the reasons a breakfast scarf would be beneficial to me:

1.) I would never miss breakfast again. It’s the most important meal of the day, amIright? Also, I need to learn how to get up early enough for breakfast because it’s like way past lunch by the time I escape my dark ozone bedroom. Does coffee count as a breakfast meal?

2.) I could get compliments. I like those. I can imagine wearing this scarf and the toast pieces blowing in the wind, and I’m flipping my hair and making eye contact with the cute Starbucks server and he’s like… you’ve got something on your face. And now I’m really embarrassed.

3.) It’s toast, bacon and eggs but in crochet form. I have one favorite sweater and it has graphic donuts on it. It’s kind of obvious that I just like articles of clothing with food stuff. Plus, I could feel like my grandma’s always around. She crochets… she also gave me food poisoning from old eggs when she made me breakfast and scarred me for life… but hey, this could remind me of the stuff she made me that was awesome like my blanket, sweaters and scarfs… just not breakfast.

4.) Also. This is like $55. That’s like 50 trips to Taco Bell. That’s like $55 of groceries… I guess I don’t need the scarf anymore because I need real food, not quirky crochet, fantasy food.

But if you want to buy this awesome scarf you totally can just click on the photo for the product page, don’t listen to my poor self rambling about my fantasy crochet scarf.





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